Thursday, September 09, 2010
esophagus splitting screeches. @ 21:14
Dearest readers of my blog--if there's likely any--and Dearest Saicchi, I must confess: I have sinned greatly.
Rather, as I do my monthly scroll through my old journal's contents to come across drafts and posts that I could read, I realized that in the span of just twelve months my personal viewpoints had gotten incredibly diversified. Taking a glance over several old entries, I realized that my inner-reactions toward things weren’t necessarily the same anymore and that a clear explanation of some of the older foreword was definitely in order to accurately display what my old-new self was.
Coming from someone that had ever recited that she hates, or hated, hypocrisy so much, consciously repeating the exact same lies to almost everyone I consider as my closest-friends nearly every day for a couple of weeks straight shows you just how much this fallacious blunder has been accustomed into my lifelike way. As I type this, I tell you right now: I have no idea what it was that drove me to do so and neither I have any intention to excuse myself regarding my own faults, but it definitely wasn’t this: to raise myself up.
Even over than a year later I don’t actually know what that-lies-I've-spread is supposed to mean. The transliteration to “self-defense” remains. However, my very honest confession that I'm about to pronounce on this blog is definitely different; it was just a savage, intentionally done deceit which I have to say was regrettably not even related to somewhat self-entrenchment and really just not my usual cup of tea. Some might was, however; but as of this moment, being the last of the truly low, ignominious me you will never again know, the very true culprit that caused my lecture postponement in UNPAD is indeed my Dad and his behavior that I'm not going to illustrate here that strongly forced us to settle down everything right from the very beginning--including to move our house out into a grisly wilderness and such. If anything... --if anything that I've told you just now doesn't even match, or slightly refracted; then that's the lie; and I'm sorry that I don't want to illogically build up our relationship just based on fraud and trickery.
...I'm sorry, Saicchi.