Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I'm sorry. @ 18:03
I need a day to write this entry in detail. Not precisely a day, actually; it's more than 30 hours since I first planned to post this, but....... Oh, well.
...............y'know, my cat has a miscarriage.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry I slammed your body onto the door up until you were bounced and your stomach was pressed so hard you had a miscarriage. I'm sorry that both of your babies were born prematurely--or, I may say, too early they actually haven't yet been perfectly shaped--and dying because of me. I'm sorry that they don't have the chance to live, and I'm sorry for making you all tortured. I was so shocked the moment I saw your babies half born, and the moment they weakly breathed in and out, and warmed inside your body, and ended up dying and laying down on the carpet--without souls--, eventually...... That I felt guilty I couldn't quite focus on my final Exam. That the glimpse of me putting their dead bodies into the sheets of tissues keep on glistening on my head even until now; it was so scary I feel terribly sorry for you. I'm so sorry that you're now having a slight hemorrhaging and couldn't even walk properly that you don't have any desire to eat and could only lay down on my bed, powerlessly........ I'm sorry. I really am.
To your children, and to the weak you,
I'm sorry. I know it's all my fault.
Labels: Mourning
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I'm sorry. @ 18:03
I need a day to write this entry in detail. Not precisely a day, actually; it's more than 30 hours since I first planned to post this, but....... Oh, well.
...............y'know, my cat has a miscarriage.
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry I slammed your body onto the door up until you were bounced and your stomach was pressed so hard you had a miscarriage. I'm sorry that both of your babies were born prematurely--or, I may say, too early they actually haven't yet been perfectly shaped--and dying because of me. I'm sorry that they don't have the chance to live, and I'm sorry for making you all tortured. I was so shocked the moment I saw your babies half born, and the moment they weakly breathed in and out, and warmed inside your body, and ended up dying and laying down on the carpet--without souls--, eventually...... That I felt guilty I couldn't quite focus on my final Exam. That the glimpse of me putting their dead bodies into the sheets of tissues keep on glistening on my head even until now; it was so scary I feel terribly sorry for you. I'm so sorry that you're now having a slight hemorrhaging and couldn't even walk properly that you don't have any desire to eat and could only lay down on my bed, powerlessly........ I'm sorry. I really am.
To your children, and to the weak you,
I'm sorry. I know it's all my fault.
Labels: Mourning
i my me mine.
you think you know me yeah?
April 5th, 1992. ISTP. Engineering student, batch 2009.
Likes sweets, cats, good readings, interesting people, prominent basslines, Christopher Nolan, Martin Scorsese and Stanley Kubrick's movies. DC-type individual. Constantly rants, sulks and rambles about random things. A fan of Urasawa Naoki. Easily gets bored. A weirdo. Longs to reside in either Canada or Australia. Has an indescribable fondness towards... Byung-hee, Mon Jae Shin, do they hit the hint I'm referring to? I mean,
similarities between those two?
And music. I don't even know where to start. I don't want to be one of those bellends who's all like, "MAN MUSIC IS WHAT I LIVE FOR I'M GONNA DIE WITHOUT IT", but I come close. Suffice to say that music plays a large part in my life. My last.fm library pretty much caters my current listening habit (and, if any, rotation) - I'm basically a shameless sucker for instrumental, post/prog-rock, folk, ambient, experimental and avant-garde; anything that intrigues my musical deity.
Lastly, to name a trait, paradoxical describes me best.
