Thursday, December 30, 2010
rest in peace...... my dear. @ 05:20

My cat passed away this dawn.

For the very first time my brother salvaged her, and brought her to our home at June, 12nd, I thought she was going to stay for years. I thought she would grow up for long. I thought she would keep running behind and following me as I strolled outside the house. I thought she would always sit in front of the door, waiting for me to come back home. And sleep on my body and licking my fingers. But then she passed away on the first 6 months due to the terrible miscarriage and hemorrhaging and the lack of vitamins & antibiotics....... And stupid me for causing that. When I thought I'm going to clean her milk-bowl, and buy her some medicines a friend suggested me, it was all too late I saw her laying down on bed: her body stiffened, mouth gaped open, vaginal-area dirtied by drips of dried blood and her strange-sleeping position somehow indicated no breathing signs I cried and mourned for hours, feeling miserably guilty. If only I didn't happen to slam your body to the door up until your stomach was pressed so hard, you and your children would probably have the chance to live longer. And that you all didn't have to suffer. I know I've said this for so many times, but I'm really sorry. My brother did tell me that you were whimpering in pain for the whole night before you passed away, and I know I'm not a good owner for you actually deserved a better caretaker, but........................

.........then again, when all of your expectations and prayers got easily flipped upside down and it succeeds to bewilder you, you'll eventually be back to realize that life never ceases to flatter us, in a way or another.

Rest in peace. December 30th, 2010.